Big Pepe Corp

BPC Greenpaper Version 1.0 · Internal · Do not distribute

A twelve-step plan for world domination.

Big Pepe Corp is a vertically integrated Pepe concern. This document sets out, in the order the board approved them, the twelve steps by which the company will come to own everything. Several steps are complete. Several are in progress. Two are redacted for reasons that are themselves redacted.

Readers are reminded that this is an internal document. Readers are further reminded that it is on the website.

Prepared by
Office of the Chairman
Reviewed by
Legal (did not answer the phone)
Classification
Confidential
Distribution
None (see URL)
Revision
1.0. There will not be a 2.0. There may be a 1.1.

Executive summary

The company has assets it did not pay for, employees it does not pay, and a token it has not released. This is, by every metric the board recognises, a strong position.

The plan below converts that position into total control of the Pepe economy, the Pepe culture, and eventually Pepe. Each step is assigned to a department. Departments are responsible for their step. The board is responsible for nothing, in writing.

The plan Twelve steps, one direction

  1. Step01

    Incorporate

    Office of the ChairmanComplete

    Big Pepe Corp was incorporated in a jurisdiction the company is not permitted to name, on a date it is not permitted to state. The founding charter is one sentence long: someone has to launder the money. Everything since has been an interpretation of that sentence.

  2. Step02

    Acquire a fax machine

    FacilitiesComplete

    No serious enterprise operates without one. The machine was acquired, installed, and has received one document, which was a fax confirming the purchase of the machine. It is kept warm. Facilities considers this step the company's first unqualified success.

  3. Step03

    Seize the assets of mallriot

    Asset RecoveryComplete

    In the second quarter, a counterparty known as mallriot approached the company for a line of credit to support a position. The position was long $BIGPEPE, a token that did not exist, and short a token nobody else had heard of, at four hundred and twenty times leverage, hedged against himself. He described the trade as unable to lose. It lost. When the margin call came he offered exposure, then vibes, then a playlist. The company took the collateral.

    Assets recovered: Anatomy of Pepe, Granny's Gifts, nERVOUs, nERVOUs Runners and nERVOUs Assets. The paperwork was signed in crayon. Legal has confirmed that crayon is binding.

  4. Step04

    Open the Asset Review Department

    Asset Review DepartmentComplete

    Every wallet holding company assets is reviewed, scored and ranked. The score is called the Pepescore™. It is published, because a review nobody can see is a rumour. The review is ongoing. It will always be ongoing. Submit any wallet to be reviewed; the department does not require consent.

  5. Step05

    Hire 512 very nervous brokers

    Wealth Obfuscation TeamIn progress

    The seized assets require management. The company is hiring 512 brokers: overworked, underpaid, fully on-chain, and nervous in a way the company finds motivating. Brokers do not add to a holder's Pepescore™. They multiply it. Exact rates are with Legal. Applications open shortly.

  6. Step06

    Break Prudence Grove out

    Special ProjectsPending

    Prudence Grove, known internally as Granny, is currently incarcerated on charges the company considers technicalities (all of them). She holds the only key to the gift closet, and the gifts are on the balance sheet. Extraction is scheduled. Special Projects has requested a van, a ladder and a cake with something in it. The cake is approved.

  7. Step07

    Implement synergy

    Human ResourcesRedacted

    Synergy will be implemented across all departments simultaneously by means of a mandatory offsite at an undisclosed mall. Attendance is compulsory. Survivors will be promoted.

  8. Step08

    Release the family portraits

    Corporate CommunicationsPending

    Photographs of the entire BPC family of hard-working employees, every department, every desk, every badge, will be released to the public. Employees will be notified after the release, in keeping with policy. Smiling was not required and did not occur.

  9. Step09

    Quarterly review

    All departmentsRecurring

    Everyone is reviewed. Nobody passes. Morale is measured, filed, and not acted upon. This step repeats until step twelve, and then continues.

  10. Step10

    Expand the org chart to the visible horizon

    StrategyPending

    Additional departments exist. Details are not available at this time. Strategy has been asked to prepare a chart; Strategy has asked for a bigger wall. The wall is under review.

  11. Step11

    Acquire the moon

    LegalRedacted

    The company will acquire the moon by adverse possession, having looked at it continuously since incorporation. Legal advises that this is not how adverse possession works. Legal has been overruled.

  12. Step12

    Release $BIGPEPE

    Office of the ChairmanPending

    The company releases $BIGPEPE. Holders of record receive an airdrop scaled by Pepescore™: the higher the review, the more $BIGPEPE arrives. Brokers multiply it. Granny approves it. The fax machine confirms it.

    There is no step thirteen. Either you have $BIGPEPE or you don't.

Forward-looking statements

This document contains forward-looking statements, backward-looking statements, and statements that look at the floor. Steps may be reordered, abandoned, completed by accident, or declared complete without being attempted. Dates are not provided because Legal is not answering the phone.

Plainly: the collections named here are collectibles. They do not earn, yield, pay out or appreciate, and nothing on this page is financial advice. $BIGPEPE is a mass noun. Anyone describing it any other way is not employed here, and if they were, they are not now.

Approved for internal distribution byThe Board